Dear makeup crew:

Look, if you're going to insist that we do hair in the scene shop, put some fucking mirrors in there. I get your reasoning, really I do, but honestly? I can do my own hair. I prefer to do my own hair. But I can't do it without a mirror!

Kthx,
the actor who's trying to make less work for you.


Dear cat:

You have a litterbox. Use it.

Love,
your (frustrated) mother.


Dear zit right next to my lip:

Begone, I banish thee. Also, FUCKING OW.

I will cover you in stage makeup, see how you like it,
your victim.

Dear Cold,

Go away.

No love whatsoever,
Naomi

ME: Why would anyone want to know what I do all the time?
MATT: Haha I don't know. You usually tell me.
ME: That's true. Why do you want to know?
MATT: I dunno. I enjoy you.

Dear residents of the flats below me,

I hate you all. Noisy motherfucking cunts.

Buying some earplugs tomorrow in the hope of a good night's sleep,
The grouchy art student above you

Everytime you call me about these credit protection plans, I politely decline and say that I'm not interested. I understand that it's your job and that you have to call, that's why I'm so nice and don't scream at you.

I know I should have been paying a little more attention to my statement, but how long have you been charging me for these freaking credit protection plans?

I called today, nice as pie, to ask you to remove me from the plan. I didn't scream and want a refund, I just ask you to remove me. What do you do? You tell me that I can activate rewards because I am a student and that you'll give me a $160 credit to my account if I not only stay in the program and commit to it further. 

I don't want the protection plan. I DON'T WANT THE PROTECTION PLAN. I am a broke student, I want $13.72 a month to use on things like groceries. If someone steals my credit, they're in for a surprise when they find out that I have $25 left on my limit and I'm not qualifying for any more credit cards anytime soon. 

STOP SIGNING ME UP FOR THESE ASININE PLANS. I don't have the money, and the only interest I have in life is on my credit card.

No love,

Student just trying to get by.

Dear...two of my desktops,
I AM ONLY USING YOU FOR PAINTING. Why are you lame? I'll be on the Fedora system I built. Kthnx.

Dear Tegaki-E,
Stop existing.

sixwordstories
Whether you're in the mood for a creative challenge or you're short on time or attention span, this semi-addictive community is perfect for those who find flash fiction way long. Once you get the hang of it, you won't be able to stop. The prince turned into a frog. The girl ran home to mother. Tough to write. Easy to read. It's a double threesome of fun.

dailyfoodie
Delicious, ambitious, and occasionally nutritious dishes make for an eclectic, all-you-can-eat feast. Whether you're searching for recipes for your next dinner party or you're jonesing for a late-night brownie fix, your cravings are sure to be well sated. A warm and inclusive community that welcomes all orientations, from carnivores to vegans, from gourmands to junk-food junkies. Guaranteed bias-free, food-positive, and pan-epicurian.

Dear cunt that nicked my memory sticks,

Fuck you.

I'm going to be carefully scouring the interwebs to make sure you aren't an art thief as well.

Thoroughly unimpressed,
Poor art student

Dear University Course Registration,

I hate you.

Annoyance,
A student.

Dear boss,

How was I supposed to know that we had a meeting at 7 in the morning? We're not even close to OPENING at 7 in the morning.

No freaking love,
Saria
---
Dear self,

I think it's time you started calling on Saturday night to get your schedule. This keeps happening.

Love,
Me
---
Dear music video,

GTFO the tv. I'm sick of seeing you. I bet everybody who requests it doesn't even watch it for the song.

No love,
Saria

Renee: I know whatever with them. We got each other.

All I needed was one override for a class. One override. You won't let me into the class because I'm not a business major (I'm in Computer Systems), yet this is the only one that fits into my schedule and is on the list of classes I should be allowed to take for my Business requirement towards my degree.
I'm graduating from university in May, and if I don't get into this class I'll be stuck for another semester just to take that ONE class. I emailed you on Wednesday asking about an override and so far I've been playing 20 Questions with you about when I graduate, what my grades are, etc.

If you're going to be a pain in the ass about all this, I'll go the college dean; I don't care.

Frustrated,
Laur

"hannah, i wanna kiss you all the time. i'll kiss you in the morning when we just woke up and you have morning breath... i'll kiss you after you eat italian and have garlic breath... i'll kiss you when you have mexican food breath... i'll kiss you all the time."

Dear people in A's society, well I say people I mean R and L

How dare you be so rude to him?! He needed help, the projector wasn't working and you guys just sat there. Previously you rang to see where he was as "he should've been here at 9". We were running late from the fireworks, so sue us. It's not as if a decent amount of you ever turn up to his screenings anyway. If it weren't for him, there'd be no film soc. Not one of you knows how to organise the night, has your own speakers to even hold a night, you can't deal with the Guild and your social was a total disaster. You are, to be frank, awful officers who balls up everything you do.

And L, there was no need for that shitty message you sent round to everyone on facebook. I know you're miffed that Andrew won't go back out with you - face it, your date was a disaster, you have nothing in common and you are hard work! - but there was no need for the callousness of that message. Yes, you normally have a 'talkative' evening, but you all ignore A and talk to each other. The fact that you were all so off with him didn't help the atmosphere of the evening. Your screenings are never punctual (hell, anime's aren't either) and never well-organised. Something always goes wrong. And R, seriously, you come across as such a shit-stirrer. It's obvious you don't want A and L together, but at least keep them friends. I'm starting to agree, it does seem like you all want A out of his society.

No love right now
Shocked at what you're doing

I am currently doing a work placement in a cosmetic insitute. My boss was away, and I was at the reception desk when the phone rang, not knowing it was her calling.

Me: Good morning, Wellness Eastgate, Victoria L. speaking.
Her: Oh, how very lovely said!

It's just a little thing, but it made me smile. :)

And the next day:

Her: Miss L., is there any cream or any other product you'd like to try?
Me: Uhm... I don't know, uh... might have to look through them again...
Her: You don't have to decide now, but I'd like to give you one.
Me: ...seriously? O_O
Her: Yes, for your efforts. You've really done a lot. :)
Me: *speechless* ...uhm...uh... thank you!^^

She's so awesome! =D

dear bathmates,

how are you so effing loud ALL the time? you come in laughing extremely loudly, come in and use the toilet loudly, then slam the door on your way out, then more loud laughing. Why do you have to shower at midnight? How the hell did you break the effing toilet lid and seat off?? How did you have the nerve to call in a noise complaint on me and my roommate when she was listening to music fairly low to go to sleep and i wasn't even here? We're hardly EVER here. We're just here it seems when you want to make the most noise when both of us have to get up at ungodly hours of the morning....

Why do you have to be such immature, annoying, loud,  unfriendly freshmen?

Annoy,
Me

dear freshmen in general,

i've always wanted the upperclassman awe. WHY DO I NOT GET THE UPPERCLASSMEN AWE?

kind of just curious,
Me

Age 13, I had a crush on some guy who knew I liked him and never acted on it. 6 years later he tells me he regrets not jumping on the chance to be with me as I grew into a very beautiful woman. He's a little late and I've far from lost my interest in him but it's nice to know I am someones "the one who got away."

Dear period,

COME. RIGHT NOW. ...Please?!

Worried,
A.


Dear possible child,

If you are indeed in there, GTFO. I do not want you. That is all.

No love whatsoever,
A.


Dear bedroom,

Clean yourself. I'm too lazy.

A little love,
A.

Dear douchebags downstairs,

You're lucky I didn't come and chase you out of our block in my full sleep deprived rage. Its 3 FUCKING AM. I planned to be up at 8 to go to London and make the most of the bloody daylight to do my project. Thanks to you douchebags being noisy cunts, I think that might have to wait until Saturday now, whilst I work myself into a calmer, exhausted state so I can get back to sleep, hmm?

Thoroughly pissed off, and very, very awake now,
The angry, tired art student upstairs