Dear mother,

If you can get to your car and get the car out of the driveway, IT DOES NOT NEED TO BE SHOVELED. Do NOT yell at me to shovel it when I am in my PAJAMAS, then when I finally get dressed decide you're too late for church anyways and DRIVE OFF. Fuck you!

Also, P.S. You said during the week that you wanted to take me winter clothes shopping. Then you tell me today you'll only take me if I watch your church choir, which SUCKS considering people who can't sing (aka YOU) are in it. Uh, no thanks, I'll find something else to do. I didn't want to go that badly anyways.

no love, your unappreciated daughter


dear boyfriend,

you said you've been waking up at 6:45-7:30ish and you'd call me when you wake up. It is now 9:30. Where the hell are you?

some love, worried girlfriend who has no way to call you


dear world,

why do you put my best friend in the hospital? why is he vomiting blood? doesn't he have enough to worry about, not to mention NO HEALTH CARE. ARGH

pure hatred, a concerned friend

You look really elegant.

Dear whatever mystery sickness I have,

So, dear sickness...um...go away. I try to sit through a Thunderbirds hockey game against Everette tonight, and what do you do? You attack me. The poor guys who had to get up seven or eight times to let me go make a sprint to the bathroom must hate me, and I certainly am not a happy camper, for I had to leave before the second period even started. So, yes, although I got to see two fights and four penalties, I couldn't even smile because I knew that if I had to move, I'd get that feeling again.
So I don't know what you are, why you chose me, or why at all anything, but just...go!


NO LOVE
The hockey fan

Seriously?

Do you really have zero disregard for women to the point where you don't provide an acceptable female restroom? I'm not asking for a luxurious bathroom getaway with aroma therapy candles, but your ONLY restroom in this entire establishment doesn't have a TOILET SEAT.

Also, your store is disgusting and your staff is rude. They are so fucking rude. The nicest and most helpful person here is 15 and could really teach you old nerds who OWN and MANAGE the store a lesson.

I got up at the ass crack of dawn and drove 2 1/2 hours to come to this store and I don't think I will ever come back. You suck.

No love,

The girl who is currently considering torrenting using your open wireless network.

Dear Edward Cullen,
I know that for some strange reason you seem appealing to girls aged eight+, but please, keep your sparkles OUT OF MY FACE!

Urgh! I'm so very sick of twimoms!

Love, Fia.

Dear friend who keeps griping about Smash Brothers character inaccuracy,

Yes, I'm well aware that the rope snake doesn't belong to Lucas, that neither he nor Ness use PK Fire, Freeze or Thunder in the game, and that the Zelda in Twilight Princess isn't Shiek.

If you're gonna nitpick, here are a few more for you that you seem to ignore;

- Luigi can't really do that LSD trip thing that is his final smash
- the Pokemon trainer cannot possibly have all three starters unless he traded for them or he's Yellow, in which case he'd have Pikachu.
- furthermore it is illegal in battles to use all three Pokemon at once
- Captain Falcon doesn't do much of anything short of drive the car in F-Zero
- Fox and Falco can't actually summon a burst of flame and shoot themselves upward with it, nor can they jump in the air and magically summon the Landmaster. in fact they also are nothing more than pilots.
- Zelda is never seen using Din's Fire, Nayru's Love, or Farore's Wind in canon.
- Olimar is not totally useless.
- Mr. Game and Watch doesn't even HAVE any real combat skills in "canon". Neither does R.O.B.
- Yoshi can't fly and breathe fire at the same time. At least not in SMW.

Seriously, in the end changes have to be made to the characters in the Smash Brothers series in order to make the attack sets. It's not about accuracy to canon, it's about making the characters playable and the game fun. Do you really want a canonically accurate Ness, who has nothing but defensive attacks (save for Rockin) and the accuracy of a nerf gun? Do you really want a canonically accurate Zelda, who has shown little to no offensive power?

Just shut up and play the goddamn game,
Your friend who would like to be able to talk about shit without you nitpicking

Dear housemates bar the boyfriend

Thank you so much for yesterday. You all knew that there would be people coming over to fix the burglar alarm and not one of you got up. You know T and I are in early on Thursdays and so couldn't have possibly stayed to check the people weren't theives/getting on okay. A, why the hell did you just let them in and go back to bed?! I had to stop and watch them and make them tea when I only had ten minutes to finish getting ready and go to uni. And then you get all moody when I asked you to get back up - I had to leave and they may have needed help! J and R, seriously why were you both so surprised when I said people had been to fix it? You got the text from the landlady.

Now, you also all got the message that she is coming on Monday. So why the hell is no one even attempting to clean up the house? We have no cutlery since no one can be bothered to keep washing up afterthemselves. I can't even get to the sink half the time. J and R why do you only ever bother to do half the dishes? It's not even that you only do your own, you just stop halfway through. And seriously we have no recycle bin - just throw the frigging rubbish away! I am going to get a black bag and throw it out, it's just getting in the way and looks messy. You left a bag of broken, yes broken, glass on the floor. I stubbed my foot on it you morons! Why did you not throw it away? The "recycling" is also blocking the back door - which is a fire exit.

Going to throw your crap away
A very miffed housemate

Dear Hispanic friends..

Please when we are all hanging out there is no need to start a conversation in spanish. It makes me feel as if you are talking about something you don't want me to know. If you have something you don't want me to know or want to talk about me please do it like normal people and wait till I leave the room or you leave. Do it behind my back not in front of my face. Its just rude very rude... I need to learn spanish to teach you guys!


Dear Roommate

Why must you lie about everything. You would lie about the color of your socks just to lie. I can't handle the lies anymore its very annoying. I've tried to talk to you about this several times but you continue to lie. JUST ABOUT STUPID SHIT!! WHY!?!? What the heck do it get out of it. If I ask you if you are going out don't say no, and then say your friends are here to pick you up. I don't care if you go out I don't care if you are gone all weekend. ALSO PAY YOUR FUCKING RENT AND WORK EVERYDAY! My husband works way to hard to take of you as well. You need to learn to grow up and be an adult..

dear b Again,

last class was the last straw for me to handle your creepiness.
I didn't mind if u were watching me work for a few minutes...but
when u stood there for five minutes breathing down the back of my neck and I could smell
your horrible breath was invading my personal bubble.

go away!!!!

dear dad

stop fucking calling me asking me when I'm going to come home when u know damn well I'm at work until midnight
I've said this to u a million times I'm 23 fucking years old not a god damn high schoolers.
can't wait til I get my own place so I don't have to deal with this bullshit anymore.

pissed off
me

Dear Mother,

Stop being passive aggressive.
You're not kicking me out, but I'm not expected to come home for the holidays? Okay.
Grow up.


xoxo
Your Daughter

Dear boyfriend,

I can't begin to understand what you're going through. To be thrown out of your home with absolutely no where and no one else to turn to is unbearable, and to struggle through for two days is admirable. But when i'm on my coach and coming home to meet you and try my hardest to look after you, calling me to tell me you can't be bothered to come see me, broke my damn heart. I know you struggle with things like this, but being in the city centre and still not coming to see me, even for two minutes so i now you're fucking alive is cruel.

I'm terrified for you. I don't know where you are, who you're with or how you're feeling. I'd have paid for you to come back to my uni room with me. I'd have rented us a a room in a hotel. I'd have fucking walked to the moon and back if it'd helped you get more stability. And you can't be bothered? No wonder i cried, and have done pretty much ever since.

You promised to call me. I really really need you to, because i need to see you so badly. Please... i will beg you.

So much love i think my heart is going to physically break from the strain
Your Sweetheart.

Dear customers,
I am not a garbage can. Please stop giving me the garbage that you are too lazy to take out of your car yourself. I know we don't have an outside garbage can.
Also, stop throwing your garbage on the ground. Seriously. I hate picking up your crap. I don't go to your home or place of employment and trash the place, please show me the same kind of respect.
You know why I can't take your garbage? Besides the fact that I don't want to touch it, I don't know what is in it, so we are not allowed to take it. Get off your lazy butt and throw it in a garbage can yourself.

Thank you,
The just-over-minimum-wage employee
Dear fellow classmates,
What is going to follow will brand me a need, but I like learning. Please STFU during classes. I'm paying for my classes, unlike you, so I want to get it right the first time.
Thank you,
The quiet one on the front row.
P.S. Thank you professor L for yelling at that one jerk in the back. I hope next time you kick him out of class.

Dear roommate,
Several things:
First: Move your damn totes out of my way. There is no reason for them to be right next to the door. They have until tomorrow to be moved, or I will place them somewhere that will not be comfortable for you.
Secondly, kindly shut up. I don;t care how much of a fan you are, have some frickin' respect for the other roommate and I
Thirdly, you have been coughing for two months. Go to the damn hospital. I am tired of hearing it. At this point, I would think it would be obvious that cough medicine and cough drops are not helping. Dumbass.
Fourthly (is that even a word?) We all know you are useless here. Stop trying to "help" because your help means I have to re-do it.

Thank you,
The one who is blasting music so she does not have to hear you yelling at the TV.

LiveJournal: The First Decade

Just in time for holiday shopping, we're thrilled to announce the release of our ten-year anniversary anthology. Published by Blurb.com, the book showcases a decade of extraordinary talent drawn from LiveJournal users around the world. This must-read compilation features stories, memes, photos, comics, editorials, graphic content, and more, including:

1. Excerpts from Oh No They Didn't (a/k/a ohnotheydidnt), the largest community on LiveJournal, covering celebrity gossip, entertainment news, and pop culture
2. A look at post-Katrina New Orleans from the journal of Poppy Z. Brite
3. Gripping narratives, including a poignant reverie on a blind date
4. Photography that spans the globe, ranging from old-fashioned Polaroids to underwater photography
5. Mouthwatering dishes from food_porn

What began as a late-night inspiration back in Brad Fitzpatrick's college dorm in 1999 has grown to encompass nearly 25 million users worldwide, with journals and communities covering every conceivable hobby, passion, and topic. To get your copy, please visit the Blurb Bookstore. For updates and entries from book contributors, please join lj_turns10.

Tweaks and enhancements

• You can now ban a user from all of your communities and journals at once. To access this feature, hover over the person's userpic and choose Ban user everywhere from the drop-down menu.
• Follow LiveJournal on Twitter!

Give a little to help a lot!

In honor of National AIDS Awareness month, we've added a new charitable vgift. For each red ribbon you purchase for $2.99, we'll donate 100 percent of gross proceeds to IAVI.org (the International AIDS Vaccine Initiative) to support the development and global distribution of an affordable HIV vaccine (we'll cover credit card fees). You can read more about IAVI at lj_cares. While we're on the subject, we raised $740 from our November fundraiser for Love Without Boundaries, which supports emergency healthcare and adoption of Chinese orphans. We thank you for helping us help others.

Photos of the week

We're back with more incredible pictures from our super-talented LiveJournal photographers. Congratulations to ilya_gorokhov, who is the winner of our very first lj_photophile poll.

We hope you'll continue to post, vote, and comment! A gentle request: Please post only one photo at a time and limit size to 350x350 (so images display properly on friends pages). And now, without further ado, get ready to cast your ballot and view more awesome user content after the jump!

( Read more... )

Curtains

Thanks, again, for joining us. Stay safe and snug out there!

Dear BFF (Though I question it every day),

Okay.

You know me when it comes to how I operate with dudes.

I can never tell you that again because you tend to get cocky, jump to stupid conclusions, and start a pointless argument.
Please don't criticize me for harmless flirting. Just because I flirt with a cute guy, doesn't mean I'm a slut.

Just LET ME BE.

Then, that nonsense you pulled today just got on my nerves.
I like the Korean version of Can You Feel the Love Tonight. I like Simba's Korean voice actor's singing voice.

No, it IS NOT just because it's in Korean. Yeah, I think it's a pleasant language to listen to, but really? Can I genuinely like something just for it being. . .it?

I've NEVER EVER liked something just because it was in Japanese or Korean so why would you assume that? Is it just because I don't listen to as many American musicians as you do?

I'm sorry if nothing is appealing to me right now in the American mainstream. :/ I don't talk about American music with you because you don't listen to the same American bands I like.

HECK, you're so busy trying to act like we're SO DIFFERNT because we come from two different types of (still Black) families, you act like you're only supposed to listen to rap so you can say I'm less Black for branching out, I never talk about music with you at all.

And please stop using "All our families aren't rich" or "Poor families do. . .". I'm not rich either. I'm far from it. Are you trying to make me feel bad when I say my family is planning a vacation or if I get something new? On that note, please stop trying to educate me on Black America.

I AM BLACK.

MY MOTHER IS BLACK.

MY FATHER IS BLACK.

I LIVE BLACK AMERICA EVERY DAY.

I may be a little light skinned, but that doesn't change anything.

P.S.

And, by the way, I WISH I had someone to help me when I first started learning Japanese seven years back. Don't get all snippy with me if I or anyone corrects you saying "I won't learn anything that way!"

It's not like I'm doing anything for you.
I'm just telling you to use ジェ instead of　ゲ.

You really don't have to do everything by yourself. You've got someone right here who really wants to watch you get better so we can pass crazy notes in Japanese during class.

But, don't expect too much of my help anymore.





(Speaking of Black things)

Dear classmates,

Never EVER say to me again, "I don't consider you Black."

That's has to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard said to me.

It's actually really hurtful because I take pride in my heritage. Hearing someone just say that I'm not part of it just because I'm not a stereotype just makes me angry.

**EDIT Thu Dec 3 23:24:15 UTC 2009 **

Hey Everyone, we are about to run the last alter job that we need to on our database servers. This will effect userpics / scrapbook / vgift images for the next few hours. Have no fear, your images aren't lost, there is just a really intensive process running on the servers which store the information for mogilefs. Thank you for your understanding and all the LJ love...

Hey LJers,

I just wanted to let you all know that we are going to be performing some mogilefs maintenance over the next few days. We will be upgrading our current version to latest stable as well as changing some db config information to better handle the amount of files we are currently hosting. This shouldn't cause a big impact on site stability, but you may see some minor delays with userpic / scrapbook images appearing or other requests associated with our mogilefs. We would love to not have that happen, but unfortunately with some of the steps we need to take we have to cause a delay with images. I figured this was a better solution than taking down all of LiveJournal because well lets face it, we all need our daily LJ fix ;)

Thanks,

Dear girl who uses my computer before me in the computer lab,

Look. I know you have every right to be at my computer before class starts because mine doesn't start until 11:30am. However, it is incredibly annoying each and every time you stay at my computer until the last minute. I would like to sit, relax, perhaps work on other homework before class starts...oh but guess why I can't? Because your ass is still in my seat.

What sucks is, that I can't do anything about it. I'm not a mean person and I won't tell you to get the fuck off my seat since it's a first come first serve when there aren't any classes in the computer lab.

Must you always stay half an hour later after your class ends? You know people are gonna come in early for the next class. Show some fucking common courtesy. How would you feel if I did that to you?

I bet you'd be annoyed as fuck, too!

ugh,
me

Dear weather:

Look, if you're going to rain, have the decency to start raining before I leave the house. You had better stop this nonsense before I'm done with classes today or we will come to blows.

No love,
the girl who'd rather not walk ten minutes in the cold rain without so much as a hat.


Dear self:

AGH WTF you are working on your senior project, why do you keep auditioning for other shows? Are you trying to kill yourself? Is your life that empty now that the last show is over? Jeez. Get a grip.

Love,
yourself.

p.s. freaking get this final presentation done. Don't fluff it like you did the anthropology paper. Double jeez.

Dear classmate,

First of all, I did NOT miss "everything". I was there for what I could absorb, and I stepped out early to print out notes for the lecture and to get some new pens. I couldn't do much in the class itself because my pens were all dry. I doubt I missed much of anything. What could I miss about walking around looking at microscopes? The professor himself said it was a short class.

Second of all, YOU were LATE. I didn't see you there at ALL until after class, which means you showed up after I left. I think you have no right to give me sass if you can't be bothered to show up on time.

Much irritation,
Your classmate.

Dear very fucking annoying group of MA students,

I made that sign for World Aids Day. I printed it. And I stuck it on my box/outfit. Why on earth did you think it was okay to just RIP it off my box without asking and stick it to yourselves?! I agree, it DID look good, but I didn't spend time and money making and printing it for you lot to steal!

Also, bitching about me behind my back because I refused to give you the sign again? Not cool guys. What are we, 10 year olds?


And don't even think about trying to take over making the archive footage we have to submit. I WILL wipe the floor with you again like I did in Covent Garden.

Unimpressed,
The Pink Haired Bitch